Halloween '17

Posted by JonWoods JonWoods
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My sweetie https://twitter.com/LoreleiMission and I made our annual pilgrimage to the West Hollywood Halloween Carnaval, along with our good friend Ikaras https://twitter.com/ikarasjones again this year. Things were a little different this time around due to security concerns: everything had to be carried in clear plastic bags and backpacks were prohibited, and so on. Because of that, we weren't sure if we'd be able to create the tableau we'd planned. After we ate, Lorelei asked two of the many deputies on the scene (a man and a woman) if we could set up a table in the street. With no context, this perplexed the male deputy. "Like a dinner table?" he asked. Not exactly, we replied, and he told us that as long as it was "fabulous" there was no problem. Yes, "fabulous," because that was in West Hollywood after all.

After we got into costume, we hauled all our stuff from the nearby hotel room to Santa Monica Boulevard: a massage table, a sheet, contact paper, duct tape, the cardboard-and-aluminum foil buzz saw, a log pillow for Nell's head as well as the ropes and gags. Even though I was dressed as Snidely Whiplash, I apparently didn't look at all suspicious to the numerous law enforcement officers we passed on the way to getting to our spot because not one of them gave us a second glance. With some help from Ikaras and Lorelei, I then transformed the table into a theatrical buzz saw, and I'm glad it turned out as well as it did (and didn't disintegrate before the end of the night) because we were assembling it there and it's not like we 'd already tested this thing out beforehand. Once we had that prepared I tied up Lorelei in the classic style, bandana gagged her and set her in place on the table. This was followed by what I would guess to be one of the top ten oddest moments of my life, which is probably really saying something. I turned around and was quite surprised to see about a 10 foot semi-circular area in front of the table had cleared, and (this is no exaggeration) about a hundred or so people were intently watching us. I guess they were expecting us to do a magic trick or some other type of performance... and I had nothin'. If I'd known this was going to happen, I'd have rehearsed a song-and-dance number or something. Instead, all that came to mind was "homina homina homina." I tried to convey they could all come up and take a photo, but it seemed to take a long time for the crowd to realize that was purpose of our display. Of course, some people never really "got it" at all.

Shortly after that, the male and female deputies Lorelei had spoken to earlier came over to take a look at our little exhibit. The man was quite excited and appreciative when he saw us, but it seems the woman had never seen Dudley Do-Right or any of those classic silent movie situations, had no frame of reference for it, and he had to explain it to her. Even then I'm not sure she ever understood it.

In previous years we were walking and accustomed to people stopping us every few minutes to take a photo or some video. Since we were stationary, there seemed to be an almost unending stream of people coming up to get a picture or pose with us. Because of that, Lorelei never got a break and she was tied up continuously for the duration, acting and squirming pretty much for the entire time: a little over two hours. Talk about stamina! Since more and more people are taking video with their phones nowadays, it's not like we could ever do a static pose like times past. I did change her gag a couple of times, but we had to specifically take time away from performing to do that -- and people were still taking pictures of that, too. As always, people would ask Lorelei if she needed to be rescued, and one of us would respond they should just send "thoughts and prayers."

We're still pondering if this wonderful tradition is going to continue next year. For one thing, how are we going to top that? Build an abandoned mine shaft and fill it with dynamite? But more importantly, the price of the hotels have become prohibitive, and the traffic is increasingly daunting every year. But we're hoping we'll be able to do this one more time. Keep a good thought.

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Andre The Toon Man Andre The Toon Man
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Re: Halloween '17

LOL!  You two are incredible!  No way would I have been able to pull that off in public. Good job!